There's a definite upside to being pregnant (other than a small grizzly addition to the family Lally). Incredibly huge breasts.I've always been a small-chested lass, being of the pear shape persuasion. It was my well developed derriere, not my chesticles, that was the source of attention and praise from admirers. Okay, yes, some rampant objectification in there, but nevertheless I do like my round behind - it's comfy to sit on and has a nice cheerful perkiness. Yes, I was always all one way - and upon my top half sat two small, cute and serviceable bosoms.
Well, hell, pregnancy has completely flipped my world upside down. Gone are the yellow-polka-dot-bikini breasts. This is a new era - an era of maxim mammaries, of Giantesses. All of me is swelling and growing and The Twins are not missing out on that action, no sirrrr.
My Mum took me bra shopping today (and she paid, w00tage). I sauntered in, hoping to find something in lace, something purple - something that would keep me from feeling like a huge dowdy Victorian nursemaid constantly set to 'leak' (although thankfully that hasn't happened yet).
Have you been in the bra section for larger chested ladies? Ye Gods. It is horrifying. Gone is any respect for pattern, style or a minx like approach to underthings. These things are tents, inbuilt with supports that I swear are designed by NASA. I would not be surprised if the underwire is titanium.
I picked up a double D, thinking wrly to myself that it would be good for a bit of change room giggling. But oh, my sweet Christus. It fit me. With ease. My mother handed me an eighteen double D and a wry sadistic smile and chuckle flitted across her features. Thankfully that one was a little too loose, and with shaking hands I thrust it at her. We both agreed I was not psychologically strong enough to bear a purchase of that magnitude - yet.
Don't get me wrong. I like my New Year's gift from the blobkin. So does the husband - he's living with a (hormonal, hungry and constantly urinating) Maxim centrefold each and every day. I just worry what's going to happen in a month or two....
If you see me skulking out of Target with a tablecloth, some elastic and some lace - well...you get the picture.
I don't know if you remember how big my bra collection got when I lived in Newcastle but I think it topped 40 (and none of them fit any more - too big) but not one of them was lacking a respect for pattern, style or a minx like approach. Try best and less they have bra in larger sizes for about $20 or less. Or I could send the pile mentioned above, though I think they would be too big...
ReplyDeleteYou never know, I think I will be fitting into some damn big bras soon.
ReplyDeleteI do remember your bra collection being varied and interesting. Perhaps I was looking in the wrong place. I have been converted by my mother to bras without underwire and that tends to limit a person looking for something purty. So much more feckin' comfy tho.
Iie! Bras with no underwire are for old ladies and people without boobs (think bonds).
ReplyDeleteHow could you ever feel sexy in a bra like that... come back from the dark side!
On a totally unrelated note I had my first Japanese lesson last night